Stuck On Stoopid, Again

Or "Too Poor to Pay Attention," your choice.  I've discovered the ultimate oxymoron as a result of not paying attention whilst shopping:

What's the POINT of "fat-free" half & half?  Half & half, by definition, is HALF cream, and cream is FULL o' fat, nu?  Sweet Jesus, but the only thing dumber than its very existence is my stoopidity in buying it.  A pox on Wally-World stock boys for putting this abomination where the REAL half & half normally sits.  That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

I have a full quart of this crap and I'm too damned cheap to just throw it out and go get the Real Deal.  But I'm thinkin' things just MIGHT change.  Bleah!